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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

President Obama: ‘I’ve Got 99 Problems And Now Jay-Z Is One.'

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President Obama last night joined Conan O’Brien onstage at the Washington Hilton for the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, and gave his fifth address to the organization of journalists who cover the White House, and the President himself.

In his remarks, the President poked at himself, as well as some of the news organizations and politicians in the room. He also showed a spoof promo for Steven Spielberg’s followup to “Lincoln,” a biopic called “Obama.”


He opened strong by saying:
Actually, my advisers were a little worried about the new rap entrance music.   They are a little more traditional.  They suggested that I should start with some jokes at my own expense, just take myself down a peg.  I was like, guys, after four and a half years, how many pegs are there left?
On the presidency:
And yet, even after all this time, I still make rookie mistakes.  Like, I’m out in California, we’re at a fundraiser, we’re having a nice time.  I happen to mention that Kamala Harris is the best-looking attorney general in the country. As you might imagine, I got trouble when I got back home.   Who knew Eric Holder was so sensitive?
On Jay Z:
So, yes, maybe I have lost a step.  But some things are beyond my control.  For example, this whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable.  Oh, yes, maybe I have lost a step.  But some things are beyond my control.  For example, this whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable.  I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one.   That’s another rap reference, Bill.   I’ll let you know.
On CNN
And of course, the White House press corps is here.  I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.
On Past Staff Members
Some of my former advisors have switched over to the dark side.  For example, David Axelrod now works for MSNBC, which is a nice change of pace since MSNBC used to work for David Axelrod.

On The History Channel
The History Channel is not here.  I guess they were embarrassed about the whole Obama-is-a-devil thing.  Of course, that never kept Fox News from showing up.   They actually thought the comparison was not fair — to Satan.
On Republicans
I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities.  And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with.   Hello?  Think of me as a trial run, you know?    See how it goes.
On The Sequester
Take the sequester.  Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can’t stop talking about how much they hate it.  It’s like we’re trapped in a Taylor Swift album.


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